Holy Kaboom! We are in the Entertaining Epicenter of the West (EEW). Where else can there be such a phantasmagoria of action? Why we may soon explode, so move up close for a good view. Whoa! The city itself seems to be running away. Hark to the merry jangle of spurs. DIA! Stockyards! Rino! HiYo! This is Your Denver—try to keep up with change (No, let’s say “Improvement”?)

Oh! The O or NO lympics—what jollity! Meeting after meeting—the Study Committee saying its piece and the NO thankees giving it little peace, and wondrous comments flying about like untethered ski-boarders—don’t oppose something that doesn’t exist!—haven’t the O’s existed quite awhile? Used to be naked athlete guys (no fancy uniforms) and an expense line for laurel wreaths, as I recall. Those were the days.

Fore! To golf or not to golf—we hear City Park, Lowry and much of Overland courses will be out of commission coming up, so Not at those places. AHA! Park Hill might reap the duffers in search of a venue with a great view, a clubhouse, fresh air and oh yes—Golf. But meeting after meeting endeth with the info that it is unsettled. The need for open space in this overcrowded, underparklanded city seems a no brainer—to keep it. Put affordable housing and grocery (never mind they say, two groceries came but did not stay) in some place that is not now a big open park. Heck, if you wait 12 years without housing there might be some leftover from the Olympics, if we had them.

But Housing! My Friends, there will be a zillion places to live out around DIA! Aeropolis, Gaylord and Sky Ranch will all have Housing, which the developers say they will try to place so it is not affected by airplane noise. Nothing like around Stapleton of yore. And the entertainment—we imagine ice rinks, mini-matterhorns, 4-D flicks, bagpipe symphonette, skateboard jungle, pun jams, buffalo-shuffles, bunny hops, tricker-treat candyfests! And the free-for-all when the annual black-tie “Wattery” (Water Lottery!) is held. This is a desert, folks, and water is Precious. Music by Open Fawcett & the Tap Dancers.

Impressed? Hey! The Grandoozy’s set for Overland Golf Course in September. Join your favorite 80,000 best friends for two days of whatever amazement/bands/”experiences” they have there. Arrive by drone and let it hover. Denver Visitor fellow exclaimed reassuringly that everything Mr. Superfly is planning is Us—Denver. Not You? But think of your fat wallet from the Economic Impact-Ahh. Or write letters, urge other “improvements” or—move on along to? Gotta love Colorado. Still, we begin to see why the Governor is thinking of moving on to the peace and quiet of Washington, D.C. He’d have to be President of course, but perhaps that’s a small price to pay. And you know, he has a prime qualification—a great sense of humor. Hope you do, too…EEW. We all need it.

Diana Helper is a writer, singer, neighborhood and open space advocate—including being a creator of the Buchtel Trail/Prairie Project—an INC delegate, and an active alumna of Oberlin College. She has written for The Profile for over 30 years; she and her husband John are longtime UP residents.